A two-sided coin

Most of you have probably heard that there's two ways to look at something bad that has happened... positively or negatively. Well, that isn't true. At least it isn't for me, and I can't really fathom how it can be for anyone else. But no worries.

My views are that one can be either bitter about something negative... or one can merely be resigned to the occurrences. Either way is a coping mechanism, I guess. But until one of these stages have passed, one cannot move on past the event in one's own mind.

Two of these things happened to me within the last 16 hours. One I couldn't control, one I... guess I could've.

The first thing...

We were driving back to Hamilton, me and dad. Our car's broken down a couple times due to transmission issues. We had the tranny replaced following the second incident. However, it blew again, this time right inside Oakville. Our car is now totalled. And there isn't really much we can do about it, except get a new one, a tough choice to take considering how tightly finances are stretched as they were. Ah well. Can't exactly be bitter about this right? Considering it was a $700 transmission change though... My dad's now a bit of a nervous wreck. I just pray he's alright. He doesn't let things on too easily.

The second thing...

Last night, after we came back to Hamilton, I got to talking to AP. The conversation was comfortable, until she asked if I wanted to come see her. She then retracted that because, to her, it felt like a breach of loyalty to someone. It just stung more than a little because she said the same thing... a week ago, in different circumstances. So when given the choice, I took it, merely meaning it to be a short trip. For my luck, it wasn't. I tried to preserve whatever she wished for, but I guess I slipped. Hm. The words "get out" actually are capable of singeing one.

I promise to never step foot inside unless invited. Never on my choice.

Bitter? Resigned? Resigned I guess...

Bitterness takes too much energy, particularly when negativity is all that surrounds you.

Signing off,

Whispered Screams