2 hours, 4 minutes in.

So two hours, four minutes in, thats how far she is. 1176 miles away. A few thousand more to go. Ah well. All I pray is that they all get there safely, have a beautiful time, and return safely.

I'm too tired to update more right now.

Till later,

JDR

Its going to be too long...

Wednesday July 18th, 2007.

Bliss. Moments of peace, promises of truth and expressions of romance.

Looking incredibly perfect in aquamarine.

Our first dance...

I'm going to miss you so much darling...



JDR

What now?

Its been a while since I've posted. And yes, I know, I could make the promises to turn this more frequent and attempt a steadier stream of thoughts and events for your reading pleasure and for my own sanity.

Or not.

Fact: I had a good weekend. I went to Ottawa with my friends for a weekend trip involving whitewater rafting and just having a good time in general. I needed the break.

Fact: I'm terrified of my past. I hate the things I've done but, regardless of that, I can't change them. Consequences can go too far, can't they...

Fact: I'm scared of change. I'd like to blame a lot of my inactivity and unwillingness to change/better myself on my lack of motivation to inject any effort. But I can't. The fact is, I'm scared of losing something to gain something else. Even though some of the things I have in life right now aren't things I acquired of my own power or effort or asking, it seems like trading them up (or rather, the possibility of losing them in exchange for what I want to get) is too hard a choice. Its too innate a fear when it comes to me. I don't know why.

I wish I could improve myself. Maybe I can. I have a plan. But then again, I've had several. What's going to make this one any different? Maybe its that I have no excuses or way-outs this time.

I'm sorry D darling, if I'm the cause of all this. I love you.

To the rest of you, thanks for sticking with me. I hope I can have something more positive to post the next time I return. Feel free to contact me when you wish.

JDR

Time to kill

So I've had an amazing few days. Hectic, fast-paced, unexpected, and still good.

I've rededicated myself and everything I do and I'm going strong, I think. I've got the help I need, and more got when I ask of it.

Started work yesterday, and its BRILLIANT.

And I just realized I don't have all that much time to kill, so I've got to run! I'll catch you later and post a new one!

For everyone who's been there for me, thank you.

D, I love you darling :).

Till later,

JDR

Intermediate

So it’s another new day and I’m stuck on a train heading nowhere. Well, that’s just a tad cliché, and somewhat untrue. Its 5:24 PM, so I can’t exactly say the day is “new”; I’m also on a train, by my own choice, heading to Hamilton. So all in all, it’s not particularly bad.

The day, in and of itself, hasn’t been all that bad either. I’d even go as far as to say it has been good. Even though it started relatively early (6:45 AM, and it does take a little getting used to after days on end of not doing anything and sleeping in), it progressed well. By 9:00, I’d watched this rather silly movie about alien invasions in the form of being control, drawing parallels from “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”. The movie title is “The Faculty”. Silly entertainment, though it does contain some now-big names in acting. I suppose it was one of those intermediates for them at the given time. Salma Hayek, Elijah Wood, Josh Hartnett, to name but a few. But yes, I now draw close to Oakville, and shall cease this until I reach my room, or some place with an internet connection and a place to sit. Maybe the Oakville-Hamilton bus.

Well, I’m in Hamilton, and that plan to write clearly did not work out as intended. I just had several things to do, one after another. I shall post this as an intermediate, and update as a new post that appends to this one.
And it actually is a new day now.

D, I’m sorry. I can be so thick-headed sometimes. I’m sorry darling.

For now,
Whispered Screams

JOG ON!

Sunday May 13, 2007

So I've spent the last couple days at home with cousin et famille. I have no idea if I got that right, so feel free to decry. All in all, its been a fun time, with two movies (Hot Fuzz, hence the title, and 28 Weeks Later, sequel to the slasher thriller 28 Days Later) and a shopping trip in downtown TO. As for now, I'm hitting the sheets to start the day early. Well, a little later than now, and earlier than 8 AM. Hopefully.

I really need to start those runs with SK. Chica, if you're reading this, hold me to this?

I miss D. Even in the midst of all this, I miss her. Terribly. I got a precious few hours yesterday, so I guess I can't complain. Scratch the yesterday, its officially the day before? Every moment is to die for, and every moment without doesn't seem worth a moment. But what kind of waiting game is this? I wish time would flow by faster.

I think I'm going to start a world-famous listing on this blog soon. But I need a topic, or something. I've got a few ideas, but I'd love to hear back from any of you.

One of my friends wrote a song about the division that exists between the two "extreme" worlds that are the Tamils and the Sinhalese in Sri Lanka. As of now, I'm still wondering why no one can follow a simple fix-it-all solution. Dare I suggest it? Or am I to be branded a traitor for not supporting the fighting, the forced impregnations of bullets into hearts and brains, the destruction of city, country, houses and people alike? Someone once told me that the people back home have nothing to live for but the independence. Interesting thought, that. What would independence represent? Calling a little 50-square-mile area a country? And then having an official national border separating it from another 75-square-mile nation? One that's already set-up with government, industry, technology etc...? Here come some flamers aimed at all those who took the fierce one-sided view to all this. Either side.

Could every Tamil person who left the country go back and think about the real-world survival of what's being proposed and the sensibility behind it? And if they could, would they put their backs into creating a nation from scratch and have it rise above the fifth-world standard it would start out at? Or would it be nothing more than an economic and political competition between two tiny nations with global impact? Would you, the SRI LANKAN Tamil person (according to some, the Indians are considered traitors?) and the Sinhalese person reading this, leave your homes, wherever in the world you are, and go back and fix this, one way or another?

Somehow I can't see that happening anytime too soon.

Hell, the next half-century would be nice.

Maybe if they run out of fossil fuels, the oil supply will drop and they won't have fuel for their planes to drop bombs on unsuspecting targets.

There's a thought.

Sadly yours,

Whispered Screams

Returning from the ashes...

Admittedly, its been an era since my last post. By era, I mean a time where pretty much everything in regards to my persona has changed in some way or another. Whether this is a good change or not, is something I cannot define. But, as a way of keeping track, I've decided to resurrect this old being, my once-trusted and now-re-trusted voice to the listening ear, or just something of a diary. I don't know.

So here goes...

Monday May 7th, 2007

Its 1:00 AM, and I'm sitting in SK's room, drifting through random snippets of this blog, her attempting to understand blogging, and me trying to reassess what it is that made me write all that in the first place. I don't know. I don't think I ever will be able to recall all of what made me take those stances in life at those moments.

Things are new now though.

I get to see D in the morning. Well, more specifically, at 9 AM. And I really cannot wait. Its been long enough, and enough's transpired since the last time I saw her and now. Who would've thought it could be this strong, a yearning...

I wonder now, though, if there's something I'm missing. I need help with life and she's there to offer it at every turn. Yet, the self-sufficient me does not want the interference. I'm left wondering what means the self-sufficiency serves when faced with truly innocent care. Fear? And nothing more? I wish I could apologize for my nature.

I've got a long night ahead of me. I hope I really don't oversleep.

I think this is enough of a resurrection.

Till later,

Whispered Screams

Steps...

Its a new year. I haven't posted in a while. So I've gotten to thinking about what to write, what to decide, how each day past this point is going to pass.

I have no answers yet, only questions and pointers, yet none in a direction I can find a solid path for.

I wrote a letter that helped me release every single dream and memory... and hope.

Having reached the hands that it was meant for, it exists no longer, in physical or emotional memory.

I wanted to start the New Year by being able to hear some kind of music.

I tried listening, and all I hear is...

Silence.

Not the oppressive kind. Merely the lack of anything, hence a tune unto itself.

Ah well... Its a little lonely I guess, but hey, with my past, this is nothing.

Its somewhat serene.

But yeah, sorry that this blog seems random. Its my one outlet for my mind.

To all who read this... thanks for taking the time to.

Until later,

Whispers

Rejuvenation

Alright so I realize that this has been a LONG while, since I last posted.

The reasons for it are, well, numerous, but mostly it just boils down to not being able to formulate thoughts enough to put them into words, or these thoughts being just on a one-on-one level that being able to say them would've just resulted in a host of cryptic posts that get people calling me and asking "who what when where why how?".

And yes I do realize thats representative of SEVERAL of my earlier posts.

But regardless...

I've come to a realization. The things I wish for, the things I ask for, the things I basically want are the things that have caused me the most pain. Perhaps its an instant retribution for selfishness? Or perhaps its just that these things are the ones I can't seem to achieve however hard I try, only because I don't know how to, and I refuse the help of whoever is willing to extend that hand. The one-man mission is something that I know, in the past, has crashed and burned terribly. Thank God for the rescuing force I found in my angel.

And thank you all, this time, for helping me realize where I stand.

Silence that became oppressive is now solace, because there's music in it :).

I know that sounds cryptic, but its actually literal. There's a tune that lilts in and out of the mind when faced with silence when one knows every thing's alright.

Time that passes will pass as it must, its how we shape each moment that defines what it does to affect us in the future.

Here's to shaping for something beautiful.

The following is a song that one of my new friends showed me that seems to fit so much in my life. Its "Your Guardian Angel" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Quirky name for a band, I know. They never released and official video for the song, so the following is a fanvid made using clips from Kingdom Hearts, a Square Enix game for the Sony Playstation. Its fitting, but a little confusing. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the song.

And again, thank you.



The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus Your Guardian Angel Lyrics

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away,
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Till I post again (no promises this time, but it should be soon),

Whispers in Silence...

A two-sided coin

Most of you have probably heard that there's two ways to look at something bad that has happened... positively or negatively. Well, that isn't true. At least it isn't for me, and I can't really fathom how it can be for anyone else. But no worries.

My views are that one can be either bitter about something negative... or one can merely be resigned to the occurrences. Either way is a coping mechanism, I guess. But until one of these stages have passed, one cannot move on past the event in one's own mind.

Two of these things happened to me within the last 16 hours. One I couldn't control, one I... guess I could've.

The first thing...

We were driving back to Hamilton, me and dad. Our car's broken down a couple times due to transmission issues. We had the tranny replaced following the second incident. However, it blew again, this time right inside Oakville. Our car is now totalled. And there isn't really much we can do about it, except get a new one, a tough choice to take considering how tightly finances are stretched as they were. Ah well. Can't exactly be bitter about this right? Considering it was a $700 transmission change though... My dad's now a bit of a nervous wreck. I just pray he's alright. He doesn't let things on too easily.

The second thing...

Last night, after we came back to Hamilton, I got to talking to AP. The conversation was comfortable, until she asked if I wanted to come see her. She then retracted that because, to her, it felt like a breach of loyalty to someone. It just stung more than a little because she said the same thing... a week ago, in different circumstances. So when given the choice, I took it, merely meaning it to be a short trip. For my luck, it wasn't. I tried to preserve whatever she wished for, but I guess I slipped. Hm. The words "get out" actually are capable of singeing one.

I promise to never step foot inside unless invited. Never on my choice.

Bitter? Resigned? Resigned I guess...

Bitterness takes too much energy, particularly when negativity is all that surrounds you.

Signing off,

Whispered Screams

Inspired

Some of you may relate to this... Sometimes there are people who appear in your life with a seemingly general purpose, not necessarily focused at you. Yet, somehow, what they say becomes something incredibly and almost perfectly focused at you, just you, and no one else.

I had that experience today... A visiting pastor at my church (yes, for those of you who didn't know, I am a Christian, and my home church is Scarborough Gospel Temple), Reverend Ivan Reynold, from Australia, spoke about what it is to be able to give even when you may think you have nothing to give. He spoke about faith, about what it truly means to help, about what sacrificing is NOT, and about what it is to be truly thankful.

... I really can't condense everything he said into something that will fit in a blog entry, but I am getting an audio copy of it next week. For anyone who wants to listen, do check back. Maybe it won't be as striking to you as it was to me. Heck, maybe it'll make you detest the fact that I am a Christian even more. But I've gotta try, right?

To everyone who's been reading my blog till now and responded, thank you... Its meant everything to me to be able to tell someone, anyone, in the most vauge, generalized words possible, what I'm going through. Thanks for finding out and helping me.

AP... 458 :) More than you'd believe...

Got too much going on around me right now, so I'll blog more later.

Signing off,

Whispered Screams

Fade...

Sorry for the extremely abrupt post last time around... I know its been just short of a month, but its been everything: a lack of being able to focus, some ups, some downs, some beginnings, some endings, and a whole lot of cycling through memories.

But I won't tell you all that now.

Maybe I will, maybe I won't. But for now, I won't.

For now, just know that my thoughts are like... confetti rained on the people at the closing ceremony of the Olympics.

Things are back to the way they once were, just with paths to the past that no one will ever tread again...

C'est lav vie...

Signing off,
Screams

Silence

Alright I don't know how to go about this but... in simple terms... I messed up.

Thats all. I've got no options left.

I don't know what's gonna happen past this point, but I guess if you guys wanna stick around, go ahead.

I'll post again. Soon. And I mean that.

Till later,

Screams

Rendezvous

So its been a while, I realize. School's insane hours, plus various things in between make it strange to go through a day with any time to even pen down a thought. Doesn't stop them flowing though...

I went back to something that I didn't really expect yet figured would come about at some point or the other. I didn't ask for it then, nor will I ask for it now. I only care that I get to have some time for it, in a twisted, singular manner. Ah well, that's life I guess.

Maybe I need to take a few more steps backwards.

To want or ask for someone to spend your time with, to have them want to spend their time with you, to share nothing and everything in individuality and togetherness, to have all that and want nothing else at all... is a dream.

Think about it. Cultural, religious, ethical and other such differences aside, we're a planet with a population of 6 billion. If you could ask one person to find the one they wished to share this with, how far would he/she go to find it? My guess? Not far. All this, just for the fact that, regardless of whether they want this or not, most people wouldn't place it too high on their list of goals for their lifetime, because really, who wants to spend a lifetime looking? Life's a big trading game, so why can't this just be looked at as a play card? Just play it when the time's right, in the most suitable circumstances. Doesn't hurt to hold a few extra in your hand while you're at it, eh? Just in case of... unforeseen issues.

What are the chances you'll find the one person who's willing to set forth every dream, every secret and every passion to share it with you?

One of my friends said that true love and marriage are, in a sense, the biggest compromise. Strange, isn't it? Even when it comes to "true" emotion, one must think in terms of the best deal procured.

Which collector was ever able to completely look past the high value of his "prized" possession and value it purely in and of itself? Would you pay $50,000 for a diamond-encrusted Rolex, and show it off to be just a beautiful watch? "Check out my new watch." "Its sweeeet! How much you pay for it?" There it begins. How do you think you'd respond? "50Gs cold hard cash.... (dollar signs in eyes)" or "Doesn't matter, I just bought it because it looked beautiful and I wanted it".

Pick an answer and there's your response.

Who would fight for love and put their life on the line for it? Something makes me think it takes two.

But hey, I've been wrong before. Then again, does such a thing as "wrong" exist when you choose a definition for your life and your mind and your "heart"?

A toast... to the trading game of life, where all that matters is the cards you hold... in every circumstance.



What would happen if it all just... stopped?

Signing off,

Whispered Screams

Somehow, this isn't my version of falling apart, nor is it an indication of forward motion. It may be limbo, for all I know. But then again, who does?

I don't know why I do the things I do, why I feel the way I feel, and why I ask the questions that I do. Words have immense impact on me, yet they manage to convey the sense that they're mere utterances of the vocal cords, apparent intent at times tangential to the purported aim. I'm no exception, so who's to judge my words?

I'm so sorry...

I'm frozen in something that I guess I don't really understand. I'm too tired. Definitions blur when one gets to this point.

I'm going back.




Signing off,

Whispered Screams

Incomplete insanity

So for the past two weeks I've been working. I guess technically the work wasn't hard, but there's a certain element of... stress, I suppose, that goes into being responsible for thousands of dollars, for handling it, transporting it, ensuring customer satisfaction, having to face the screaming, suspicious, and/or sarcastic ones. Being afraid of being short some money is another thing. It either comes off your paycheque, or you get fired... and it comes off your paycheque. Heh... 15 days of it, and it was alright. Waking up at 5:30 AM each day, sometimes coming home at 9 PM, sometimes at 1 PM. Its over for now?

I started several posts. Not in type, but on paper. I started each one and wrote as far as time and circumstance allowed. I never continued each one from one day to the next. Each day I grasped something, I tried to write it down. When something interrupted, that idea was lost.

I've lost too much.

I'm tired.

I can't sleep.

I'm so scared to dream. I wish I had the strength to.

Its a new day fallen.

[So lost and disillusioned] {Blink 182 - Feeling This}

Signing off,

Whispered Screams

Still...

Monday August 28th, 2006

Today was generally unremarkable in essense. The same old CNE job, there and back (I finished a little earlier today) and not much else. However, I did get to walk along Lakeshore/Queens Quay. Got to check out the predawn spot where I met some cool new people. Memories...

If you guys ever see this, you have my gratitude for rescuing my sanity, albeit temporarily.

Got to watch episode 2 of Prison Break today. Its on a different theme from the first season. I'll take my stance on it a little further on into the year. For now, I just want to watch the next episode. not much of a cliffhanger though.

New thoughts... these aren't creeds that I live by, nor are they pieces of advice I'm dishing out to anyone and everyone. Rather, they're just the thoughts that control what might be my life a little while from now. I don't know... I can't explain what exactly they are, but here they are.

Learn to live for your dreams alone. No, I don't mean you abandon every other goal in your life to pursue these dreams. I just mean this: at every chance you get, dream. Daydream. Dream at night. Every moment you get to yourself, create a world in your mind that contains no error, no reason for justification to yourself, nothing that makes you question your choice. Some people believe that everything comes at a price. If imagination and the ability to make oneself happy and self-satisfied were subjected to the same classification, I think we've lost all ability to remain individual. Regardless, create this dream for yourself. Don't try to make it come true, because if it fades you'll be destroyed beyond recovery, stranded on a path that has no direction. Instead, allow yourself to consciously and subconsciously set the stage for the dream, to create somewhere, some time, some point for that dream to come true. It isn't about a fulfillment, its about a continuous journey. Somehow we believe something without an end goal is useless. Untrue. If we had shortcuts to everything, we wouldn't live past 25, in all honesty. So just create the circumstance, for in that creation you'll find every memory to hold onto, every moment spent in joy and contentment, and it won't be an endless wait, for it'll be forever ongoing. Even if the dream doesn't become a reality, it won't matter, because you've managed to transform your world into something that's perfect for you. If it does come to pass, you can stop, smile, and dream again...

Keep dreaming... perfection, that is.

The following is a fan video featuring clips from the movie "Tuck Everlasting" set to the song 'Chasing Cars' by Snow Patrol. Its a beautiful song, but all the videos are copyrighted, and its hard to find a good copy. This video, however, goes along nicely. Listen to the end of it, if you will. Its a bit of a spoiler if you haven't watched the movie. Hope you enjoy it regardless.



Signing off,

Whispered Screams

Stellar...

So courtesy of the CNE, I have worked for the past 9 days continuously, leaving the house at 7 AM, rarely returning before 1 AM. And still it continuous. Sunday was my day off, and I've enjoyed it by doing... absolutely nothing. I'm still exhausted, and tomorrow I've gotta get back into this stride again.

Things that seemed to have momentum up until this point seemed to have just ceased activity, laying in wait for me to get them started again. I don't know how I'm going to do that, but I suppose its a matter of focus, time and God knows what else.

Wow. That just seems so amazingly monotonous. But I can't seem to bring a stop to that tone, so I'll keep going for just a bit.

To everyone who I've turned silent on, I really apologize. I haven't had the time. For anything.

Work is a drag, yet emotionally strenuous. One never knows when one can get fired or not, and record-keeping with that high a volume of customers drains one. i've lost all ability to focus. I have to deal with short term memory loss. Its frustrating. But its only for a few more days. No regrets.

I saw a really good movie today, that perhaps some of you have seen. "I am Sam". A movie starring Sean Penn and Dakota Fanning. Its beautiful.

I'm blanking out. I'll pull my mind together again and post soon.

School in a few days. I have to sort that out too.

Here's another track that seems to provide some verbal definition to some aspects of my life. It can be a little graphic, so just a warning.

Musical note: Brilliant drumming.



Faders moving down...

Signing off,

Whispered Screams

Relativity...

Wednesday August 15th, 2006

I don't know what controls each day that goes past, but for me, I abandoned it to the wind about 2 months ago. And so I watch and wait, not in anticipation, but merely as an observer. Sometimes I smile, sometimes I cry, but I keep watching.

Well, a few updates, I guess.

Following the internet cafe thing, I headed back to my cousins' place, where we then hung out for a bit longer. After this, my uncle came home n told us we were heading to the Taste of the Danforth streed food festival. In short, it was brilliant! Just so colourful and packed. The food was awesome. The atmosphere was carefree and everyone smiled. I loved that. I got to carry my little cousin on my shoulders all around. He loved that, and it was a beautiful feeling. Got back to their place that night, and we all just collapsed into bed, exhausted.

Sunday, we were all late risers after two days of early mornings and late nights and super-exhausting days. Regardless, it was a more homely day, for the most part. It was beautiful in its own way. Then that evening, one of my cousins, TB, took us painballing. Now THAT was addictive fun. Round after round of pelting each other with paint-filled plastic shells, only some of which explode upon impact. Also worth mentioning are the number of said shells exploding on masks and, on one shot, ingesting a shell's worth of vegetable oil-based paint. Not too tasty, but ah well.

Came back to my own place and my own bed following that. I never realized how comfortable it was, but it was amazing. Another night of instant sleep.

Monday, me and AP and her brother headed to Fleet & Strachan for more jobhunting. We got mass-drafted, but ah well, its something, right?

Something I realized. Silence is retreat, but its a very lonely retreat. It takes too many steps in another direction from which its hard to reach anyone.

Please don't let this matter...

I managed to score a conditional something else, for which I was supposed to attend a preparation conference and then a general meeting today. I made it there, only to find out that the conference was moved to tomorrow. So I hung out with some of the others who came there, until the general meeting rolled around. They were cool; I'll see them on the job a lot, I guess. Interesting ethnic ratio our job is gonna have.

I met this one girl who gave me the strongest sense of deja vu. It was crazy. Nice person though. Managed to get herself on the nerve of the managers at the meeting, lol. I figure I met her a year or so ago, I just have no clue where. Annoying fleeting memories. I wish it were more photographic.

I wish each day that went past could bear a smile with it. I guess that wouldn't be life then, would it?

I don't know when I'm going to get off the back seat and become the one who drives my life. Soon, I suppose. I just need a sign of sorts. I'll wait.

To the someone from the past or the present, and to all those who need something to think about, cry about, hold onto someone for, here's a song thats made me wonder about a few things. Read the lyrics first, then scroll down to watch the video. There's an alternate mellower (and much nicer) version of it on the MSN video site. The link is under the video posted on my blog.

Band: Hedley
Song: Trip

Some say love is not for sinners
I believe that isn't true
'Cause when I was finished sinning
Love came down and showed me you

And you told me how to get there
So I tried to find a way
Then I ran into your garden
But I tripped out the gate
I tripped out the gate

What are you doing to me?
I'm so into you
And the hardest part is knowing
That I'll never follow through
You're slowly killing me
And I wish it wasn't true
Cause I'm so into you

Like a ton of bricks it hit me
And woke me from this dream
No matter how hard I tried to wash my hands
I could never get 'em clean
I could never get 'em clean

What are you doing to me?
I'm so into you
And the hardest part is knowing
That I'll never follow through
You're slowly killing me
And I wish it wasn't true
Cause I'm so into you

Can you hear me?
Cuz I can't change what I'll always be



Click here to go the MSN Video

I don't want to dream anymore...

Signing off,

Whispered Screams

Just an intermission

Saturday August 12, 2006

So I realize I haven't updated in a few days. The reason for this is merely that I'm at my cousins' place, just relaxing and having fun courtesy of them. A little restless, have quite a few things to do, and do not have internet access. Hence this, my blogging from an internet cafe. I'll update more once I get home, but just a rundown of the last couple:

Headed to Wonderland yesterday with this group. Was a lot of fun, just in pure innocence and abandon.

Thank you for that guys.

Interestingly, my dreams have coincided with AP's in a way that seems a bit... strange. Regardless, they're dreams that portrayed her being eternally happy, so they're worth smiling about.

I'm adding the video for Mr. Brightside tying in for a previous post with the lyrics. Click HERE to go to it.

Just made me realize how much it ties into my last post about the people whowalk into your life, over you, and then disappear.

Thankless existence? Maybe. And no, I'm not emo, or regretting any of my choices. Just wondering why things are the way they are.



Have a good weekend.

Signing off,

Whispered Screams