Wednesday August 15th, 2006
I don't know what controls each day that goes past, but for me, I abandoned it to the wind about 2 months ago. And so I watch and wait, not in anticipation, but merely as an observer. Sometimes I smile, sometimes I cry, but I keep watching.
Well, a few updates, I guess.
Following the internet cafe thing, I headed back to my cousins' place, where we then hung out for a bit longer. After this, my uncle came home n told us we were heading to the Taste of the Danforth streed food festival. In short, it was brilliant! Just so colourful and packed. The food was awesome. The atmosphere was carefree and everyone smiled. I loved that. I got to carry my little cousin on my shoulders all around. He loved that, and it was a beautiful feeling. Got back to their place that night, and we all just collapsed into bed, exhausted.
Sunday, we were all late risers after two days of early mornings and late nights and super-exhausting days. Regardless, it was a more homely day, for the most part. It was beautiful in its own way. Then that evening, one of my cousins, TB, took us painballing. Now THAT was addictive fun. Round after round of pelting each other with paint-filled plastic shells, only some of which explode upon impact. Also worth mentioning are the number of said shells exploding on masks and, on one shot, ingesting a shell's worth of vegetable oil-based paint. Not too tasty, but ah well.
Came back to my own place and my own bed following that. I never realized how comfortable it was, but it was amazing. Another night of instant sleep.
Monday, me and AP and her brother headed to Fleet & Strachan for more jobhunting. We got mass-drafted, but ah well, its something, right?
Something I realized. Silence is retreat, but its a very lonely retreat. It takes too many steps in another direction from which its hard to reach anyone.
Please don't let this matter...
I managed to score a conditional something else, for which I was supposed to attend a preparation conference and then a general meeting today. I made it there, only to find out that the conference was moved to tomorrow. So I hung out with some of the others who came there, until the general meeting rolled around. They were cool; I'll see them on the job a lot, I guess. Interesting ethnic ratio our job is gonna have.
I met this one girl who gave me the strongest sense of deja vu. It was crazy. Nice person though. Managed to get herself on the nerve of the managers at the meeting, lol. I figure I met her a year or so ago, I just have no clue where. Annoying fleeting memories. I wish it were more photographic.
I wish each day that went past could bear a smile with it. I guess that wouldn't be life then, would it?
I don't know when I'm going to get off the back seat and become the one who drives my life. Soon, I suppose. I just need a sign of sorts. I'll wait.
To the someone from the past or the present, and to all those who need something to think about, cry about, hold onto someone for, here's a song thats made me wonder about a few things. Read the lyrics first, then scroll down to watch the video. There's an alternate mellower (and much nicer) version of it on the MSN video site. The link is under the video posted on my blog.
Band: Hedley
Song: Trip
Some say love is not for sinners
I believe that isn't true
'Cause when I was finished sinning
Love came down and showed me you
And you told me how to get there
So I tried to find a way
Then I ran into your garden
But I tripped out the gate
I tripped out the gate
What are you doing to me?
I'm so into you
And the hardest part is knowing
That I'll never follow through
You're slowly killing me
And I wish it wasn't true
Cause I'm so into you
Like a ton of bricks it hit me
And woke me from this dream
No matter how hard I tried to wash my hands
I could never get 'em clean
I could never get 'em clean
What are you doing to me?
I'm so into you
And the hardest part is knowing
That I'll never follow through
You're slowly killing me
And I wish it wasn't true
Cause I'm so into you
Can you hear me?
Cuz I can't change what I'll always be
Click here to go the MSN Video
I don't want to dream anymore...
Signing off,
Whispered Screams
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5 comments:
Just one of those songs that you can't stop listening to, once you know it means something to someone who you care about most in your life, despite them not realising.
whats the point of it all, finally, isn't it all just an illusion, we make things up, we need them to be real, but at the end of the day.. did it mean anything at all.....its so baseless.....i'm soo into you? are we ever soo into anyone?? the hardest part is knowing that i'll never follow through...true..
in response to anonymous 2, id like to say YES you can be "so into someone." It could be God; it could even be a person. Its just that in today's world, sincere love has totally lost its meaning. Relationships merely last for a couple of weeks, if not, months. It's all about what one person can get out of the other person. The reason I say its possible to find that person, is because I've found mine. The majority of the world might think alike, but there are still those few who know what true love is; and what commitment is; and that love involves BOTH GIVING AND TAKING; and that a simple argument isn't a sign for someone to walk out of a relationship, or simply put: "dump" them.
Just my opinion...
btw Damean, quite a thought provoking blog, as are, most of your other entries. Just look straight ahead and "fight the good fight of Faith."
in response to a friend...simply put ..you are right..i wasnt talking about true love..i believe in true love and commitment with all my heart, and i know it is probably the most wonderful feeling ever...but i was talking in the context of the process of "falling in love" or rather infatuation..and against what everybody else may say..i think infatuation is as real and heartfelt as it could ever get..somewhere down we all know that that heady feeling is often the precursor of things to come..may it be good or bad...i guess i sounded confused..but i believe that infatuation IS an illusion, how far we push it ..and will it to work,,decides if it ends in "love" or a broken heart..and yes i was wrong..it is absolutely possible to be soo into anyone...at the risk of a broken heart..that was my issue and i think it just got answered..:)
Damean....this entry certainly has raised questions....good workk!!:) thought provoking, certainly. :)
To: Anonymous 2
Comment: WORD!!!
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